So, some lucky guy takes a crowbar to a self-checkout (he's a Higglytown hero to me - most of us have wanted to physically harm a computer at some point - I just wouldn't want to be in a room with him, maybe - best appreciated from afar, with a dash of fear and a pinch of humor at the expense of a chain store), and gets away with it. 

I wish I was the crowbar sort of guy.  Using these things is like taking an exit I don’t know during a traffic jam because "it might be quicker".  Every time I tell myself “never again”.  I feel like Smeagol / Gollum arguing with himself.

“We mussstn’t be foolish, we mussstn’t trusssst the nasssty... little... machinesesssess.”
“But maybe THISSSS time, it SAVESSS usss time.”
“No.  No!  We ssssayss thisss EVERY time.”
“Yessss, but sssstill... maybe the computersesss ARE sssmarter than the peopleses now.”

(5 minutes and three “Please wait for assistance” messages later)

“Ahhhh!  It BURRRRRNSSSS usss!  We hatesss it... FOREVER!”